theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize