I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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