That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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