so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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