Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
