Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
