do herpes really smell.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
