I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
