did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
