I think I won the penis lottery.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
