i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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