I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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