i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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