mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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