shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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