it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
