you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
