I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
