Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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