This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's never too late to be topless.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
