does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Boobs speak an international language.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
