You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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