i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
