I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
