I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I puked a lego.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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