I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you win again, gameday.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
