I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
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I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
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I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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