That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
