I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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