Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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