Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize