he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Come see our sink grown plant.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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