oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
