Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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