she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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