I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
