Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
