I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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