some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
