Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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