Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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