When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
