I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
