like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I am naked and annoyed.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
