he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
