So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
