halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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