No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize