how can u be prego again
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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