Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
