So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize