i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
