Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
