We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
