I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
