Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
